My first recommendation would be to try Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section; you sign up with them and then decide which of the three sections you want to be a part of (Dating, Relationships or Intimate Encounters).
There are a lot of adult dating sites that don't have a lot of users, or use sneaky marketing tactics like the bait and switch you're referring to.
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Good sites can go bad, and those I don't recommend may improve.
Of course, new sites will debut that may or may not be of merit.
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