But the most absurd part of this is, after I “ghost” em, they swamp me with questions about why I disappeared.When I tell them the truth, they always say, “What?!“You highlight your disapproval of black women because of their independence, strength . “I’ve been waiting years to see someone reject the bullshit black men use to put down black women and elevate white women,” wrote Negrita Devereaux.“I’m glad you used your voice and your talent to talk about your experience.” Asia Bilal commented: “The same men she’s talking about will disrespect ya asses in a minute.On the other hand, in my experience, fewer (emphasis on “fewer,” not “all,” so as to not generalize) non-POC men – spoiling me with salsa dance lessons, romantic hibachi dates, and tickets to Broadway plays – have this unsound, debilitating fear of women running off saying “peace out sucker! As a woman who prefers Black men, I find that this one–upmanship mentality to be crippling AF.It’s as if Black men constantly need reassurance that they have the upper hand in terms of who is putting in the least amount effort, but getting the greatest ROI.From the President to the UPS delivery man, Black men walk like they own the place—and they do.
There is nothing better than being with a Black man and not having to explain your favorite movie and TV quotes—from Eddie King, Jr. Black men realize that being a strong Black woman is for survival and one part of our multidimensional personalities.And so to alleviate that uneasiness, they play this odd game of, “Let’s see if I can get away with giving her ” They don’t want to be vulnerable.More often than not, I’ve had Black men invite me into their mama’s homes, late at night when she’s sleeping, for a little “Netflix and chill” (ugh, I know the phrase is to those types of “first dates” anyway.Whispering to us during a movie, savoring a bite during dinner, or even a flashing a little frown can have us thinking some heated thoughts. When street smarts meet book smarts and common sense, that’s real education.We don’t mind if a Black man takes another woman’s call in front of us, as long as it ends with “Love you too, mama.” The way a man treats his mother is definitely a sign on how he views women, and Black men have a sweet spot when it comes to their moms. No one can wear their hat cocked to the side just so like a Black man can.Black men also realize they’ve made it to a new level of intimacy when we pull out that scarf that keeps things fresh. Black men share our long and deep history of pride, pain and progress.