Feel free to share your own thoughts or ask questions of these widowers. *** From Split-Second Single Father Here's how I have handled dating since becoming a widower.I am the father of a seven-year-old girl, who was five the first time I dated someone after her mother died. Both times, I have handled things as follows: I made sure to tell my daughter about the first date prior to the date itself.I want to make sure that my daughter knows her opinions/feelings are important to me, while at the same time knowing that she will not be the ultimate decision-maker in the relationship.I believe that having this kind of communication will help if/when there comes a point when I do decide to marry again.We sat down and discussed it (over ice cream) as something that was going to happen once and if things went well, maybe a second and third and fourth time.
(For instance I usually call my girlfriend after my daughter is in bed for the night, which also makes for uninterrupted phone time!
I made the mistake of pushing forward with this relationship and spent probably too many weekends away from my boys as she lived several hours away. I learned later he suffered in silence at the prospect of moving.
As the relationship progressed to marriage engagement, I made plans to move to her city after the oldest son graduated from high school where I lived. In the end, the relationship was not to be for several reasons, the engagement broke off and I found “Anne” a year later online. I was just going to pluck him out of the school system he had enjoyed since 2nd grade and not allow him to finish high school with his buddies.
In saying that, it becomes clear that time spent with the new woman will be minimal at first.
That's another thing the two of you (grown-ups, not the child/ren) need to discuss.
*** From “Jack” My first venture out into dating just seven months after LW's death quickly became not 'just dating'.