But I also think there is something to be said about the way in which gender, stereotypes and our nation's history (where black boys were lynched for looking at white women) has impacted the makeup of black/white relationships. There were actually quite a few women I interviewed for Don't Bring Home A White Boy who expressed your exact sentiments: they resented black men with white wives.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and thank you for sharing your work! However, for most of them, once they were in a serious relationship of their own, they found themselves to be far less concerned with what black men were doing.
It was okay for their brothers to date white girls, but they were told as girls "don't bring home a white boy". The legacy of mistreatment of black women by white men holds a strong imprint.
But this message, much as it as meant to protect, does suggest that black women don't have the same choice as black men.
_______________________ Laurel, Md.: Isn't it funny that almost all of biracial children are beautiful?
Many of you responded that you sometimes receive stares or negative comments, while others wrote their experiences have been mostly positive. When it comes to our relationship I don’t really see race.
I do hope that you will pick up a copy of "Don't Bring Home A White Boy (And Other Notions That Keep Black Women from Dating Out).
I spent almost a year working on it, and it goes into far more depth about things like the "double standards" between how black men and black women view interracial dating, the issues facing bi-racial children, and why it is that some women who should know better choose "bad boys" instead of the "nice men" they say they want!
As someone else I interviewed said "Screwed up parents, screwed up child." This is absolutely correct, I think. Folan, As a black woman who recently graduated from Harvard Law School, we have a lot in common!
We need to make sure we have stable loving relationships with our spouses. I appreciate your perspective and wonder if I could ask what your thoughts are on the statistic quoted in the article regarding the percentage of black men with white women (I believe 73% of black/white relationships? As a person who is currently in a serious relationship with a white man, I embrace your motto!
However, parental support and living in diverse areas seems to provide the best environments for multi-racial children to do well.